Jorja’s young daughter is pregnant and, as a young Mum herself, she’s not sure what guidance or support she should give…
My daughter, Louise is 17 and she’s five weeks pregnant. I’m a single Mum and had her when I was about the same age. But, she’s good in school, she’s just done her GCSE’s and she was going on to do her A Levels next year. I really want her to do well, have a career and enjoy the things that I never did, rather than just have a baby – especially when the Dad is just a boy at school and unlikely to stick around. She’s in a turmoil about whether or not to keep the baby, but I really don’t know what to say as I don’t want her to think I regretted having her so young, but, also, if I influence her decision, she may blame me in the future. Selfishly, in the last few months, I’ve just started making plans for my own life – I’ve been thinking about online dating and I’ve also been looking into some evening classes. I’m worried that if Louise goes through with the pregnancy, then I may feel resentful as I may end up looking after the baby full-time whilst she goes back to school. Any advice?
Our FamilyPoint advice to Jorja
Hi, thank you for contacting FamilyPoint about your daughter, I can understand that you are concerned about her. It’s great that you have such a close relationship with your daughter that she is able to talk to you about her pregnancy.
It must be so hard for you emotionally, and even more so for your daughter. Nobody knows what the future may hold, but it is good that you have already been realistic with looking ahead at what having a baby will mean for you and for her. Making plans for your own life isn’t selfish and it is understandable that you don’t want to put your life on hold. It is important to be honest with your daughter about how you feel and discuss how much support you feel you can provide her with if she decides to keep the baby.
Although you feel like the dad might not stick around, he is still the father of the child and he (and/or his family) may wish to be involved in the baby’s life if your daughter decides to keep it. These are all things that need to be considered when your daughter is making her decision.
You say that your daughter is in turmoil trying to decide what to do. Rather than you giving suggestions, which is understandably difficult, it might be useful to encourage her to talk to someone impartial, like a Brook counsellor, who can give advice and support.
If you would like further information on national or local support services, then you can contact us at FamilyPoint Cymru via phone 0300 222 57 57, text 07860 052 905, or IM/Chat. We are open Monday – Thursday 6pm – 10pm and Friday & Saturday 10am – 2pm.
The FamilyPoint Cymru Team
PS Our response is always written by one of our trained and experienced helpline adviser advocates. For more information, do please feel free to contact them on 0300 222 57 57 (phone), 07860 052 905 (text), or IM/Chat.
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